Hungry Bassist

A lowly bassist got off the bus with nothing but a shirt and a jacket to cover a valuable instrument. Because of this, the neck and the head are able to show the four knobs with only three strings. Two years ago, the first string was broken when the bassist was trying to learn how to pop a note from that string after the slap on the topmost string. It hasn't been replaced ever since. But this didn't stop it from playing music that's most beautiful to the bassist -- nevermind that some people heard it as nothing more than noise. It never occurred to this bassist that he should make music to present as a gift to the world. To this bassist, one's music should be a present for the self. The bassist opines that music should be appreciated by others only by coincidence. Selfish it might seem however, to someone deprived of an obsession, so is the rest of the world.

With just enough money to buy two cheap pieces in one of those small bakeries that's already closed, a three kilometer walk began. The bassist slips, and almost fell flat to the ground from a slippery slanting sidewalk. Even while falling down, the bass was prioritized and was raised to make sure it won't be the first one to hit the ground. This was inspite the fact that this bassist hasn't slept for almost three days, -- save the bus ride, -- hasn't had a decent meal for half a day, and has been longing for water for two hours.

However tired, sleepy, hungry or thirsty, the bassist still persisted to walk home on a seemingly endless path. The bass held on the right and bag clutched on the left, the bassist started to hallucinate. Visions of a beauty that can never be had rushed to the mind like cold water falling down a falls. It didn't come a straight stream tho. It came like packets on a Distributed Denial-Of-Service attack -- unceasingly coming from all directions.

Memories. A pretty smile. A face immitating a fish. A secret of some old conflict. A thirty minute barf. A view that one is only either fabulous or unfabulous. A futile eight-hour search for a gown. A startling scream that was caused by a bald head just a few inches from the door. A cute voice asking what movie it was again that has Gary Oldman in it. A tendency to overreact on little things. A habit of sleeping with at least one limb hanging off the bed. These, and some more, are all from a girl that has been in the bassist's mind for years.

Beat Crusaders: Follow Me

Follow me
Baby, I won't let you leave if you believe in me
And I always set you free from all those yesteryears
But you don't know how much
I got faith in you

I was staring at your shoulder shivering
In such a coldest summer breeze
Meanwhile I wonder why we're here
Look for the line between lover and friend
We'll be twisting ourselves again

I was standing at the corner on the street
Watching the wheels are turning free
Waiting to back up on my feet
Reading a line between night and day
I'll be twisting myself again

Harmony Breaks One Second

I went to Quiapo with Gerard yesterday to buy some cd's and dvd's. We had to leave at lunch time. As a result, i just had less than hour of sleep. But it's worth it cause i got a dvd of Paradise Lost's Evolve -- some compilation of their videos from their Harmony Breaks concert, their One Second Live gig and some other promo videos. I hope Anna likes it. I'm giving it to her she doesn't already have it. I don't really like videos.

"OOYA EGAM"

I've been teaching Andel, my baby cousin (our big rat) to say my name for some months now. I repeated "kuya eman" several times for him to immitate. Last month, i finally got an "oooooyah." At least he almost got the first part.

"Say my name, baby! Say my name!" i usually say. This morning he said, "ooya," then paused a bit and continued, "egam," fast like he's trying to bite a mosquito that's flying to his mouth. Not what i really wanted, but with a little debugging of his consonants, he'll eventually say my name right.

He did the sweetest thing tho. He walked to me with that cute little smile of his and handed me, with both his hands, a ceramic angel. He just got it from the living room display and i had to return it to its shelf, but it's still a nice gesture nonetheless.

Eventually, he'll learn to speak, then i'll tell him the difference between E and E minor on the guitar. After that, he'll learn how to configure a webserver to properly serve secure http (https) traffic. That's after i teach him all about the options found in Apache's httpd.conf.

I'm talking nonsense again. Sorry for wasting your time.

The big rat's back

My cousins got here a few hours before sunrise. I can't believe our big rat still can't speak.

Audio Books are GREAT

I love Audiobooks. I'm listening to an English translation of Kafka's The Trial. Let me quote something from that audiobook:

"She held Kay apostrophe S hand..."

Another one:

"... he asked 'Where is the courtroom question mark'"

X marks the spot

The burning sensation on my torso is killing me. I've added another one, and counted all 29 of them. That's how long it's been. That's how many times i ended my day with pain for thinking about her. That's how many times i tried to keep her out of my mind. And that's how many times i've failed.

Sisyphus, In His Own Words

Welcome to my mountain, Dear Friend. I am Sisyphus, and I am very glad you could join me here. Camus wrote in The Myth of Sisyphus that "One should imagine Sisyphus happy". Whether one imagines it or not, Dear Friend, it is true- I am happy. Indeed I am amongst the happiest and freest of men. I must walk down to the plain now, but if you will come with me I will explain to you why I should be happy, and why it is that your predicament, Dear Friend, is just like mine.

As we make our way down this mountain to the rock which I must push back up to the peak only to watch it fall again, you may be wondering how it is that I could be happy. It might not seem like an enviable situation, I know. But if you will indulge me, I shall tell you how it can be, that a man as unfortunate as myself can smile on a day like this.

White chocolate capuccino, strange places, and the summer heat

This morning, i slept for more or less 2 hrs (4am - 6am). I tried going back to sleep but my bed wants to kill me by squeezing out every last drop of water in body with its hot sheets. "Nagbara" is the proper reaction for this, as the sheets feel like they've been put in an oven and cooked for 4 hrs in 700Kelvin. Nevertheless, i endured the heat and stayed sweating in bed for 3 hours -- wondering if there would ever be a time i'd enjoy this heat. At 9.00, by remembering the things i have to finish before seeing the sun go down and up again and by fear of dying of dehydration, i decided to get up, get a drink, and go on with my life.

Easier said than done. The heat has indeed gotten to me but there are other things in the crazy head of this self-absorbed egomaniac going on that's to blame for being a bum. Here it is:

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Anyone who can decrypted SHA1+MD5 encrypted messages probably can read that, but i doubt it's worth your time.

Moving on, i procrastinated for a few hours before doing some actual work. I missed breakfast and lunch, but that's nothing new. Valerie, a friend of Patrick who i work for, making the BP Int'l Shipping Corp. website, called reminding me that the deadliest deadline -- when we'll present the actual website -- for BP is tomorrow. I've completed almost everything before 13.00, but there are a few images missing, which i assume that they expect me to generate myself. No biggie. It's just a little crop here, changing color intensities there -- trivial stuff. It would've been better if Patrick's actually finished his job -- the graphics part -- before leaving for Isabela for some Multi-level marketing gimmick.

Deciding to hold the work until i got back home, i burned the cd's for Anna and took a much needed bath.

I was supposed to meet up with Anna at the CAL building, but i ended up waiting at the faculty center -- close, but not quite right. After checking out books in Nat'l Bookstore Katipunan, we parted. She went to eat at Tia Maria's and i went to Johanna's place to meet up with her Dan.

After meeting with the couple about The Project, i walked to Epoy's and Nico's place. It's no surprise that they're not there. They're probably in Mindoro or just out somewhere.

I went back to Anna's place. She freaked when she saw my face just a few inches from hers. Her scream almost gave me a heart attack, so i sat on her bed until my heartbeat and breathing went back to normal. I told Anna i went there to tell her that she has to use WinRAR for the copy of the Nightmare Before Christmas that i gave her. Ha! She told before that she knows how to use Winrar and how to open winrar files -- it follows that she knows what to do with rar files. I just wanted to hang out with her, i guess.

After watching The Amittyville Horror and her smoking a cigarette, i walked home. I wanted to go straight to Commonwealth, then thru Central Ave, but i decided that's too easy. Sinced i've tried that route before.

Going thru C.P. Garcia, i found myself entering the street near Sarah's to KNL (Krus na Ligas). The streets there fumed the heat the asphalt collected the entire day. It gave me a feeling of nausea and self-hatred. It also caused me to have a headache that feels like somebody's mixing my brain using an egg-beater. After half an hour, i escaped the maze of KNL and entered the labyrinth of Teachersville. It took me more than two hours walking around before i got home.

At home, i quickly logged on to my pc and worked on my stuff while drinking white chocolate capuccino. It is apparent that at this point, i don't feel like writing anymore.