Ten Stitchezes

A funny feeling
A million fingers pinching
Unceasingly, one after another
A pace so fast it's almost simultaneous

Nothing so unpleasant
But not something i'd prefer living with
Life ends where our body does
But our thoughts can last longer than our hair

The body keeps our memories
A thousand thoughts the mind refuses to keep
Scars and joints constantly in pain
Pain induced by the coldness

A weird smile that can't be wiped off
A scream that made my heart beat fast
Fast as a hundred galloping horses
Tears that made me freeze up
So sad that it kept my mouth glued together

Nose bleeding from the heat
Infuriating -- face got red
Muscles in pain from the drug
Ten stitches showing defeat
A defeat that never ends

[Smokin Popes] Need You Around

If I could see into your heart
Then would I know just where to start?
Because I'm lost and I need to be found
Crazy as it sounds
I need you around

If I could stand to be on my own
Then I would probably just leave you alone
But I'm gonna feel this way till I'm six feet underground
Crazy as it sounds
I need you around

Turning, tossing and turning
My love is burning me down

If I could change one thing in this world
I'd change your mind and make you my girl
Because I'm lost and I need to be found
Crazy as it sounds
I need you around

I'm gonna feel this way till I'm six feet underground
Crazy as it sounds
I need you around

Hungry Bassist

A lowly bassist got off the bus with nothing but a shirt and a jacket to cover a valuable instrument. Because of this, the neck and the head are able to show the four knobs with only three strings. Two years ago, the first string was broken when the bassist was trying to learn how to pop a note from that string after the slap on the topmost string. It hasn't been replaced ever since. But this didn't stop it from playing music that's most beautiful to the bassist -- nevermind that some people heard it as nothing more than noise. It never occurred to this bassist that he should make music to present as a gift to the world. To this bassist, one's music should be a present for the self. The bassist opines that music should be appreciated by others only by coincidence. Selfish it might seem however, to someone deprived of an obsession, so is the rest of the world.

With just enough money to buy two cheap pieces in one of those small bakeries that's already closed, a three kilometer walk began. The bassist slips, and almost fell flat to the ground from a slippery slanting sidewalk. Even while falling down, the bass was prioritized and was raised to make sure it won't be the first one to hit the ground. This was inspite the fact that this bassist hasn't slept for almost three days, -- save the bus ride, -- hasn't had a decent meal for half a day, and has been longing for water for two hours.

However tired, sleepy, hungry or thirsty, the bassist still persisted to walk home on a seemingly endless path. The bass held on the right and bag clutched on the left, the bassist started to hallucinate. Visions of a beauty that can never be had rushed to the mind like cold water falling down a falls. It didn't come a straight stream tho. It came like packets on a Distributed Denial-Of-Service attack -- unceasingly coming from all directions.

Memories. A pretty smile. A face immitating a fish. A secret of some old conflict. A thirty minute barf. A view that one is only either fabulous or unfabulous. A futile eight-hour search for a gown. A startling scream that was caused by a bald head just a few inches from the door. A cute voice asking what movie it was again that has Gary Oldman in it. A tendency to overreact on little things. A habit of sleeping with at least one limb hanging off the bed. These, and some more, are all from a girl that has been in the bassist's mind for years.

Beat Crusaders: Follow Me

Follow me
Baby, I won't let you leave if you believe in me
And I always set you free from all those yesteryears
But you don't know how much
I got faith in you

I was staring at your shoulder shivering
In such a coldest summer breeze
Meanwhile I wonder why we're here
Look for the line between lover and friend
We'll be twisting ourselves again

I was standing at the corner on the street
Watching the wheels are turning free
Waiting to back up on my feet
Reading a line between night and day
I'll be twisting myself again

Harmony Breaks One Second

I went to Quiapo with Gerard yesterday to buy some cd's and dvd's. We had to leave at lunch time. As a result, i just had less than hour of sleep. But it's worth it cause i got a dvd of Paradise Lost's Evolve -- some compilation of their videos from their Harmony Breaks concert, their One Second Live gig and some other promo videos. I hope Anna likes it. I'm giving it to her she doesn't already have it. I don't really like videos.

"OOYA EGAM"

I've been teaching Andel, my baby cousin (our big rat) to say my name for some months now. I repeated "kuya eman" several times for him to immitate. Last month, i finally got an "oooooyah." At least he almost got the first part.

"Say my name, baby! Say my name!" i usually say. This morning he said, "ooya," then paused a bit and continued, "egam," fast like he's trying to bite a mosquito that's flying to his mouth. Not what i really wanted, but with a little debugging of his consonants, he'll eventually say my name right.

He did the sweetest thing tho. He walked to me with that cute little smile of his and handed me, with both his hands, a ceramic angel. He just got it from the living room display and i had to return it to its shelf, but it's still a nice gesture nonetheless.

Eventually, he'll learn to speak, then i'll tell him the difference between E and E minor on the guitar. After that, he'll learn how to configure a webserver to properly serve secure http (https) traffic. That's after i teach him all about the options found in Apache's httpd.conf.

I'm talking nonsense again. Sorry for wasting your time.

The big rat's back

My cousins got here a few hours before sunrise. I can't believe our big rat still can't speak.

Audio Books are GREAT

I love Audiobooks. I'm listening to an English translation of Kafka's The Trial. Let me quote something from that audiobook:

"She held Kay apostrophe S hand..."

Another one:

"... he asked 'Where is the courtroom question mark'"

X marks the spot

The burning sensation on my torso is killing me. I've added another one, and counted all 29 of them. That's how long it's been. That's how many times i ended my day with pain for thinking about her. That's how many times i tried to keep her out of my mind. And that's how many times i've failed.